


Letting Go

by EmotionsofInk



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Epic Friendship, Gen, Goodbyes, but i wanted to write something happy, pre-season has made me sad, so this is like bitter-sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 02:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21500002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionsofInk/pseuds/EmotionsofInk
Summary: He was leaving but he was determined to not let go of something he had found.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Off-Season really had to just come on in and make me sad like this, really. (And this is just the TL things, let's not get me started on what's happening in C9 with Sneaky, my heart can't take it). Any-who, began jotting this down as soon as it was confirmed, I just really love these two as this weird kind of BFF's dynamic, I'm going to miss them together

_"There is nothing permanent except change. Thank you team liquid and to my teammates, you guys all have a special place in my heart."_

The door to the room was left open and he took it as invitation to head in. He hoped that the open door was a sign that he was open to talking to him and seeing him. Jake knew all too well how closed off the midlaner could be, he had heard stories of how Nicolaj has shut out past team mates. He was determined, that the same thing would not happen between the two of them.

“Hey, I’m glad I caught you before you headed on your holiday.” Jake’s words were said to the back of midlaner, who looked to be packing a small bag. He had told the team he was heading back to Denmark for Christmas, something which was apparently unusual for him. He vaguely wondered if the mess that was the off-season had led him to be wanting to be in a more stable place. “May I come in, to talk?”

He was lingering at the doorway, and hoped, beyond anything that he wasn’t about to get the door slammed in his face.

“Of course,” Nicolaj turned at this, offering him an uneasy smile. “I’m glad you want to talk to me, I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to come and talk to you actually… well, I guess I hoped you would still want to talk to me…” He seemed uneasy, and he looked down at the ground, shuffling his feet. “So… what did you want to talk about?”

Jake hated that Nicolaj looked ready to hear some kind of lecture, to get yelled at. But it was nothing of the sort. He had loved this year; he had loved getting to know him for who he really was. He was here to make sure that he knew that, he was here to make sure he didn’t let go.

“I don’t, I don’t want to leave…”

Nicolaj actually laughed at this, shaking his head, “Well, sorry to say – that it’s a bit too late for that. Unless you’re here to tell me that you’re staying and I’m the one heading for the door… that wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.” There was a bitterness to his voice and Jake didn’t blame him for one bit – already, even just in the few hours after it had been announced, there was uproar about who really should be leaving and who was to blame.

Jake hated that people just didn’t get it, there was no one person to blame and even if there was, that blame had nothing to do with him leaving – it had nothing to do with the changes. He just needed this; he needed the fresh start. He needed a new environment to get the fire going again.

“Nah, but if I had my way, I would drag you away with me.”

“What, why would you even want? That makes no sense.” Nicolaj shook his head, eyes returning to the floor, breath catching in his throat. He had walked this dance too many times before, he had seen people walk away from teams before. He had been told, to his face, that it was because of him before. Why would this time be any different? “Are you supposed to be here to tell me all the reasons why this is all my fault?”

Jake hated it, because all he wanted to do, was wrap him in a tight hug and never let go. “Not exactly, I mean it… I wanted to come and talk to you, to make sure that you weren’t thinking that… I wanted to make sure, that you know I’m going to miss being your team-mate, but that I’m not truly leaving.”

“Oh, really?” Nicolaj sounded curious at this, although his eyes were still glued to the floor, “And what does that mean exactly?” There was a hint of hope in his voice, almost like he was holding onto to something that he didn’t quite know if he wanted or not.

“Nicolaj, look at me.” Jake gave him a small, hesitant, smile as the midlaner looked up, eyes washed with confusion at the use of the first name. “You need to know; I may have left the team but don’t think for one second that I’m leaving you.”

“I… Jake?”

“Through everything, you have been my friend first, and then my team-mate, that’s not going to change, just because we don’t see each other as much – just because we now are competing against each other. You’re still my friend, I still need that from you.”

Nicolaj smiled softly, “I need that too… to tell you the truth, I was scared… scared I was losing someone else, scared I had pushed someone else away…. People tend to do that once they’ve seen the worst side of me, they just leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere… not with this. Besides, I think we will make much better friends, then we have team-mates. This way… I don’t have to… well, you know.”

Nicolaj nodded, they have had their fair share of arguments. Jake being on a different team would stop that tension. But he had heard this many times before, the whole, we will stay friends after changing team’s thing. He had heard it many times, and so far, it had all been lies. But Jake, there was just something different, something trusting. He had always been straight with him, even when it was things that he didn’t want to hear, why would he start lying to him now?

Jake watched in silence as Nicolaj chewed his bottom lip, as the midlaners face changed through a large array of emotions so much so they he could barley keep up. He knew that Nicolaj would be going through every scenario in his head, going through every small detail, trying to find a hole, a flaw, something to point at and say what about this. It was something he both loved and hated about him, to be so vulnerable when it came to people actually liking him.

“Is there anything I can say, to actually make you believe me?”

Nicolaj sighed, “Actions speak louder than words, or so I have found out the hard way.”

“Well then, I will just have to make do on that promise, won’t I?”

“Yeah, I guess you will.”

Jake just gave him a small smile, before getting in a quick goodbye hug before going to leave, almost out the door when Nicolaj spoke up.

“Jake, I just wanted… this friendship means a lot to me too… you’ve kind of become like a big brother to me, I know you hate hearing that, but it’s true. I just, wanted you to let you know… the feeling is mutual, I’m not ready to let go of this friendship quite yet either.”

Jake’s hand was on the door-handle at this point, but he let it, slowly fall off, standing, breathing deeply in front of the door that he was about to open. Instead of opening it and leaving, he instead turned and made his way back to Nicolaj. Walking past him and taking a seat on the bed, something he had done more times to count over their year together.

“So, do you know what poor idiot has to deal with you now?”

Nicolaj just laughed at this, something he didn’t realize that he was carrying seemed to leave his shoulders. It was just so simple, so easy, so nice. He made his way over to the bed as well, sitting down next to Jake and leaning into him slightly.

They were not letting go, ever.


End file.
